Endometriosis and dating
44 Members
Created by Amy Lefmann

the issue of sex while dating

i have the problem that sex hurts me (pretty common i know) and when im in a relationship with someone i make sure to tell them up front that this cant be a very active sex relationship because it hurts me. the problem is after not having it as often as they like they always cheat. is this going to be a problem for the rest of my life? why do men feel that if there is no/little sex the relationship isnt worth being in?

26 months ago
Results 1 - 6

  • Stacey

    I have the same problem with the pain. I just got out of a relationship due to how bad it hurt. The three - four days I would spend sick after was not worth the sex thats for sure! He was understanding, but I have to wonder how long that would have lasted. I know it sounds cliche - but I guess the right person for you would wait and be patient. There are also a few things like lubricants and certain positions that could help it be more comfortable, but that varies woman to woman and is something you just have to experiment with. It was eight years between this relationship and my last, and I personally don't plan on getting into another as long as I am in pain. I wish you luck!!

    26 months ago

  • Chasity

    yeah ive tried and ive found some ways to help but im always sooo sore afterwards if i dont hurt during and i dont think most men understand that

     

    26 months ago

  • Amber

    I read in the the Dummy's Guide, http://www.amazon.com/Endometriosis-Dummies-Health-Fitness/dp/0470050470, that taking pain killers an hour before sex helps and lubricants. Also when you trust the guy, you relax and the pain is less or not there.

    Be more experimental, try different positions and if it hurts, change the position or alter it a bit to make it more comfortable.

    If a guy cheats on you, don't blame it on yourself. There are plenty of happily married women in this support group and I am dating a very caring, supportive and patient person. You may need to wait 2-3 months before sex. Trust the guy first. Plus, guy's appreciate the game of chasing you. No matter how much they complain. Be strong & ignore the guy pleading for sex. If he's still around after that then you have not only a worthwhile boyfriend, but a possible best friend.

    26 months ago

  • Chasity

    lol thats why they cheat because i dont have sex with them right away and they just dnot understand that.

    26 months ago

  • Missa

    You'll find a man that values YOU more than sex....they're out there!  My boyfriend and I don't have sex often, but he never complains and is always supportive.  There's a lot more to a relationship than sex, and a guy that can't see that isn't worth your time! 

    26 months ago

  • Navy

    I was expecting to see your age around 22, because guys around that age tend to be...'not matured enough' yet. So, since yer 26, I would hafta ask where yer meeting guys. Not to try and be a know-it-all. I'm just trying to offer my two cents of advice. People, in general, I think, tend to network for relationships at social gatherings, such as bars, clubs, or parties. Well, when ever alcohol is involved, men are even dumber than they were in the first place, and the whole focus in that situation is flaring yer peacock feathers to attract a mate. That's great for mating, but us humans aren't as simple as the aminals.

    Please excuse if I sound condescending or aloof. I'm just offering my two cents. I used to think I was unique as far as men go, but then I realized that I was just unique in the surroundings I put myself in. So, I hadta change my environment and my focus. Instead of looking for a meaningful relationship at a party, where people will 'profess' an interest in the same things you love, maybe at the library or the SPCA instead, or hell even a coffee house or Barnes & Noble, where they can actually be seen doing something you love. I mean, do these people at a party have any interests in common besides desire for closeness.

    If this is nowhere close to yer situation then disregard. All I can say is keep trying and, something I learned when I became a disabled guy, you have to love and appreciate yerself first. I know that sounds cliche, but it is true. You hafta be content with being alone with yerself, not needing someone else to complete you. Then, you will have certain prerequisites that you won't just ignore because of 'love at first sight' and crap like that.

    Before I met the girlfriend I have now, I was, for the first time in my life, at peace with the idea of being single. I was in no hurry. This helps so much because you aren't in a habit of compromising yersef to make someone elae happy. I mean, if you hafta then they aren't the right fit and you are back to the question, 'I am ok alone or am I with someone just because I 'need' to be with someone.?'

    Please excuse my long-winded comment.

    John

    26 months ago

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