Gina
Patient
Last on 7 months ago
4452 points.
Gold Ninja

Journal Entry

This disease has taken over my life.

April 03, 2009

I havent been able to sleep much lately. I have been dealing with my pain so much more. My surgery is only a few weeks away, but it seems like forever. I have been taking ibuprofen and Tylenol for headaches to, but they are not that bad. I have been having to fall asleep with a heating pad on high and i will still wake my self up moaning in my sleep cause i hurt. I call my doctor the other day to see if i can get a few loratabs for the pain to hold me off till i have my surgery, i only asked for 5 knowing i wont take many unless if the pain was really bad, i told her about having to take hot baths more, sleeping with a heating pad, taking ibuprofen and Tylenol for my head and it not even touching the pain from the endo, that i have been waking myself up in pain, but my nurse called me back telling me that my doctor said no to any pain meds, She told me he said for me to take ibprofin, isnt that messed up. I was in so much pain from the endo, and not being about to get away from the pain i went to my room laid down with my heating pad and cried, i couldnt help my self but i had not idea of what to do next. I tell every one that i dont think i can keep going through this year after year, i have missed out on so much of my life because of the endo, i dont want to miss out on more. i want to go to college but i dont think i can go if it is on campus. I want to work but i know i will miss so much due to the pain, I even want to have a family in a few years, but i havent even had a relation ship in 3 years because no one can put up with me and my pain. I never go out with my friends because im scared ill start hurting and ruin their fun. The only thing i feel i have left to my self is my beading and all my friends with endo.  I cant even eat with out drugging my self up with promethazine. I cant sit up for long. Im just tired of this disease, im 18 now, i should have a life i never had. this disease has no mercy.

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  • p1nkg0dess

    *hugs* I'm sorry it's so miserable right now. I hope that surgery brings some longer term relief. Would your doctor consider sending you to a pain management specialist? I don't know if there's even one available in your area, but sometimes a doctor is more willing to do that than prescribe himself.

    17 months ago

  • Gina

    No we dont really have one here. the surgery is mainly to see if there are any endometrioma.

    17 months ago

  • bethany

    I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I wish I had some wisdom to share, but I don't. As far as college, I know there are a lot of online schools out there that may be worth checking in to. I myself have been putting off going back to college because there's just too much to deal with right now. It's hard putting your life on hold for your health. It's frustrating and unfair at any age, but you're so young and haven't even really had a chance at life yet. Good luck with your surgery, please let me know how it goes. I hope you get some relief.

    17 months ago

  • Shani

    If you are still having pain, I would start to complain.  I would definitely bring this up when you meet with her next. I know that alot of doctors have to be careful about drug seekers. If you dont get anywhere with this doctor, I would look for another one right after surgery. It is their job to make sure that you have a good quality of life.

    Hope you feel better soon!!! Im also in college, so I completely understand.

    17 months ago

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